mel went for CRUISE!
that ger always enjoying life x . X

today's sun yet i did not go for service.
cause working morning shift.
i was REALLY very bored.
thank goodness la0po and vivien came.
went far east together.
went back for my shades but its GONE!
got a top and many studs today.

wanna shop for handbags and slippers.




lovely you and me =)





daddy mummy pls pardon me of my vanity
U GUYS MADE ME =P

had great fun that day at the beach.
though sth dampen my mood TERRIBLY
but all in all...
everything was great. =)

work commence on wednesday.
and i think i'll stick to selling CHEE- na ornaments
WHY?
CAUSE I END UP BEING THE CUSTOMER!!!
ahhh~
the first day at work i already spend my one day salary on my own products!
wth.
currently situated at centrepoint, push cart in front of esprit.
definitely got eye catchy stuff there.
lol.

been buying lotsa stuff lately.
i really REALLY should cut down.
ahh help me pls.





im not the TYRANT in this story.
dun ever LABEL me.
when u DUNNO me.

went out with u in the morning.
had fun =)
then met mel . sher and jm to buy food for tml's pinnic and sun tanning!

yeahh~
there'll be...
egg sandwich,
sausage,
noodles,
fishball,
nuggets
and CHIPS!
not forgetting laopo's fav "POCKY"


so im going to turn in earli tonight.
meeting the girls at 8.30 in mel's place.




ibelieveinlove

today i came across sth really interesting.
maybe ppl dunno but i love reading cleo mag.
and with the non stop advertisement about the 50 bachelor eligible this month,
HOW CAN I NOT BUY?
then suddenly i saw this...




































count 10
























no u're still at 4



























okok look carefully,























YES!! his ex amkss teacher MR LOW!











so the once very well liked by students MR.LOW is one naughty guy!
well known for his good physique, his hunk looks,
he is now classified as SEXY, HUNKY and NAUGHTY by cleo
aiyoo~
i guess amksian should vote for him!
the ex amksians esp.
i find it so amusing =P

here i wish him good luck in this competition.
lol


and praise lord i got the job!
ok at least i won't be idling around before sch reopens
as i said im very free nowadays.
scheduled at cineleisure lvl 1 on the first day
then frm the 2nd day onwards at centrepoint.
why why why!? why at that "wu lu lok kok" place!

for the sake of $$, shermaine koh dun "hiam" lah!




pissed.

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

"then i don't want to resolve this"
se7enteen.zer02.06ix

if everything is done cause of anger, i think that is nth but an excuse.
love just turn sour overnight.
have u ever thought of the moments we shared when u said that to me?
so anger can't be compared to times we had isit?
just give me 10 good reasons why i have to give it another chance,
when it ended cause of ANGER.

spend my day in town.
rachel (king of melon seeds) msg me and ask if im available to work.
just hope that she will still hire me even though i can only work till mid of march.
thinking of the longs days ahead before sch reopens makes me sick.
cause im so BORED.

anyway im really very free nowadays
so who wants to go ARCADE with me?
weeksdays better, less crowded.
and im looking forward to sun tanning with the girls
=)

b I k i n I s


and im thinking if i can drop out of innova even if i get in.
now i pray hard then i don't get innova.
arghh~
why am i so indecisive...

u choose it.
u answered me firmly.
im not against it.
so i guess this is it.


wth!

i dun undetstand why do i haf to subject to such nonsense
and yet i have to keep mum about it.
cause even if i make a big thing out of it.
i will be the one in the wrong.
so im the common one..
easily predictable.
i wanna shout it out loud but i got no choice but to kip it all to myself

now anyone who reads this post i so gonna kill me.
cause i THINK (emphasize think) i regret choosing jc.

what am i going to do!
am i too impulsive?

i kinda look forward to a life in poly.
though wearing home clothes to sch can be a chore
but the syllabus and courses will be at my pace.
or am i just too negative about myself.
i've not been doing very well in sec sch since sec 3.
seriously i am WORRIED.
too late for regrets.


bought a shirt today at maui and sons, and oso a nike one for my bro
mum paid for everything
lunched at siam kitchen.
lol mum gossip alot ok.
currently pestering my mum for the osim u-zap
gonna ZAP ZAP ZAP the whole day lol
ahhh

life is just so so ...


x . X

FOR GOODNESS SAKE PPL!
DUN MAKE ME FEEL AS IF I CONTROL CWL LIFE!
SO YES HIS FIRST CHOICE IS IJC!
BUT WHAT THE HELL HAS IT GOT TO DO WITH ME!

U PPL HAVE NO IDEA HOW I FEEL WHEN U PPL SAY SUCH THINGS.


haf to be home with bro
he does not even look lyk he is SICK ok
wl came over and accompany me. =)
going to have dinner soon.


MYOB PPL

there were many factors to consider.
and there were just too many choices that i really do not know what is good for me.

journey is one thing
the environment is another.
after much consideration,
i decided to take my chance at a new jc.
innova junior college.
went to take a look at the school just now.
the place has a tennis court, a netball court and big track lol!
most importantly i dun haf to travel too far.

so let's say im going there to "BUILD" up innova's name
lol.
so thick skin.
dear say's its not a mistake.
and having his support is all i need.
(not forgetting my ke ai de mama)


i don't need u ppl to tell me wad dangers i will encounter in a new jc ok.
ur kids are only in prisch
so dun give ur 2cents worth
IM SOMEONE WHO DO NOT GIVE A DAMN.
and that applies to everyone. =P



im prepared to be a big fish in this small pond.

study study study! =)

the start of my day is terrible!
i DID NOT have to report for work today!!
there is alr a promotor there!!
ahhhhh~

so in the end i FEED my anger with shopping!
im so happy!
bought my levis, 3/4 at MI, a billabong top frm 77 street and
A NICE BLLABONG BACK PACK!!
aw i really love it so much that i did not think twice about it.
bout many other "chapbalang"
thanks sheryl and vivien for their company
and im sorry mel i can't help u get the shirt u want.
they don't accpet nets and i really did not have enough cash.


i need more $$!!

shopping sprreeee!~

heave a sigh of relief
all is over.
now everyone awaits the new school term
and the new start. =)

god is great.
he gave me a second chance to prove myself
i rmbed i once said this prayer
"i noe i haven been good and all these last min mugging wun help much
but god all that i ask for is a 2nd chance, a chance to prove myself
because i know im awake"
and today i rc my results with shocked but disappointments as well.

i did not fare terribly,
i did not score well either.
one thing for sure is that i know god answered my prayers
i treasure this 2nd chance and i know what hard work can bring
u reap what u sow.

chemistry was a big surprise.
really i thought that it was going to be really bad..
amaths and hmt was a great disappointment.

all the worrying and butterflies in the stomach ALL GONE!
i now look forward to my life in jc, my journey in jc.
ONCE AGAIN,
NO QUALMS ABOUT MY DECISIONS
JUST GO FOR IT.



liberated ; reborned .
unleashed the strenght


deariloveu
if only i could be a better girlfriend, if only i could make u proud.

frm this moment..
i just want to think about nothing else but tomorrow.
wad exactly will happen?
i believed all of batch 2005 "o lvlers" are feeling the same way as i am now

worried?
nervous?
tense?
actually the best and the simplest word to describe our feeling.
BLANK.

reminiscing...

sec 1 :
dress code : tuck my blouse, with long socks and typical white school shoes.
did not know what exactly billabong, roxy, nike and adidas was.
so i carried a "SHAYRER" bag which i thought was damn fucking cool

results at sec 1 was good.
not exactly terrific but at least its a single digit for my l1r5 ok!
and not forgetting my first hp 3315. =)

then miraculously AMKSS allowed sport shoes
that's when i bought a nike and it was stolen

mid of sec 2 - i started caring bout appearance and knew wad REBONDING was.
laugh ppl laugh.
i was that "gu gu" ok.
at that time at least i had nice sports shoes and my uniform was not in.
in fact its coming OFF.

end of sec 2 :
i met the most wonderful soulmate that anyone ever wanted
my life was perfect.

sec 3 :
then i went into another phase of life.
say maybe growing up or i just wanted to be rebellious?
i probably did not know the pain of losing my love one
and i took everyting for granted.
i just wanted EVERYTHING
and i did not follow my heart.
and yes i learnt a really hard lesson.

my conduct in school was KANASAI!
potential target for ong.
ear studs, shirt (at sec 3 its ALWAYS OFF), socks and even WHO I AM TALKING TO.
everything he oso want to *KAYPOH
hais~
and yes i hated him to the core.
fancy calling my name during flag raising
u haf no idea how embarrassing miss koh is ok!

it was not a good year.
my studies went down the CHAO LONG GANG!
and me, thinking that i damn fucking smart.
still continued living in the world of my own
and did things i shouldn't be doing.
and i lost the 2nd phone that i loved! x70!!! =(
and note its the SECOND COLOUR PHONE i own!
its was the worse year in amkss.
dread everything.

sec 4:
still could not be bothered
but then good friends of mine came into my life
maybe i did not realised but somehow its a calling
god probably send them to me,
(to ask me to study at kfc.)
and that's when the studious girl was born.
ha ha ha!
i was not very hardworking
but one thing im sure was that im AWAKE.
i know what i wanted.
and another wonderful soulmate came in.
we studied, we loved and yeahh, we were happy.
i was happy.
erm my uniform was still quite bad lah.
but then i find the most perfect excuse
"my shirt is too short"
and indeed it is ok, i wore them since sec one u know.

and i wonder if i can fit in them tml...
hmm~
and sec 4 ended in a flash.
it happened so fast that i some how cannot recall the times i mugged.
did i really studied that hard?
was it enough?
enough for me to catch up what i lost?

tml is the day i've been waiting for
the day WE all have been waiting for.
what lies ahead of me?
what is my destiny?
what is the path i should take?
the path god gave to me?

i just wanna tell all my friend out there
I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!
be it my very close friends
or whether we were once good friends,
u know i really appreciate all of u.
thank you for entering my secondary school life
and i wish all of you all the best in ur future endeavours

ps: pardon the error in this post, im just too lazy to read it all over again to amend.

its yet ANOTHER day closer.

oh pls oh pls oh pls~



I HATE IT WHEN U STEP MY SHOE!!!
I HATE IT WHEN U ARE SO OBLIVIOUS TO THE SURROUNDING!!!
I HATE IT WHEN I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF MORE THAN ONCE CONTINUOUSLY!!!
I HATE IT WHEN PPL UNDERSTANDS WHAT IM SAYING AND U DON'T!!!
I HATE IT WHEN ALL THESE HAPPENS TOO FREQUENTLY!!!!
AND ITS GETTING ON MY NERVES!!!

its a day closer to getting our results
oh god pls bless me.
bless everybody.

dear came to my place today.
got change and went to mac.
we were looking at brouchers and newsletters from various poly
and i guess i have a really clear mind of wad faculty im interested in

temasek poly - law and management!! =)
singapore poly - banking and financial , accounting blar blar. (love maths!)
erm actually im not really sure which poly offers good business courses
so im going for sp as it seems appealing.

though i really love the science courses
but i know what the future holds and that's not a really wise choice
unless my results sums up to less than 20
which mean i would go for jc and pursue sci in university
hais~
L I F E.

went to his place and i jam and jam
woots.
afterwhich we went to bugis for steamboat
yum yum~ tian tian huo guo.
we really know how to enjoy huh?
both of us bought a top
gonna wear it tml!!
ahhh~ i love new clothes!
home sweet home at 10.30!


no qualms bout everything
and i live life to the fullest!

HEADLINE: BATCH 2005 O LEVEL RESULTS IS TO BE RELEASED ON THE 10 OF FEB


I AM SO SO SO SO WORRIED!


accompanied yl down to wisma to get his phone repaired.
dear . mel . yile . wj
after which some went for I NOT STUPID TOO
mel met gerald.
while dear, cle, jg and i went shopping
gosh i saw a flash imp shirt that i really like
but dear's size is not available
and im pretty sure he likes it too =)

then i dragged dear to wheellock
because i wanted to lure him to crumpler
coincidentally jg wanted to get trexis
*OMG! $42.90 for a pair
lol maybe i knew dear a little too well huh?
he likes the sling bag there =)

dearhopeureallylikeit
and promise me no matter what the outcome,
pursure ur interest, given ur acdemic results and mine
it can't be compared.
im nothing
we will serparte for sure
but u also may not know
one thing im positive of is, imursforevertoo
i love u.


godimsoworriedabouttheresultsofeveryone
hehasacceptuintohisheartandmayugivehimallthestrenghtheneed
iknowthathe'sworriedforhisenglishandgodipraythatugivehimthepowertoovercomehisfearwithin.
ialsopraythatgoduwillguidemethroughthisperiodandletmemakethecorrectchoice.
thoughtimsuretheoutcomeofminewouldnotbegoodbutmakemestrong
makemepositiveandhappy.jesusmostpreciousnameiprayamen.

=)
feeling much better today
ytd went to mel hse.
4 gee - bii?
lols quite an interesting game huh~

ah boy is really cute.
and gosh kids nowadays...
hmmm~
must guai guai ok?

didn't get to see rich and jemma
aww~ how sad.



dunblameme.
ihavingbadmoodswings
andistillloatheu

for today,
i loathe u, dun ask me why.
its always like that when results are revealing
or be it we are receiving results
i just get this really lousy feeling
AND IT ALWAYS SURFACE!
its not about losing
its the inferior feeling
and to make things worse,
its everything, EVERYTHING!!
whatever i do, it is always worse than u.

everything is going back
images started flashing through my mind
i am being ABUSED by memories.
brutally.
not only bad memories with u
but also some that came back when i saw this picture that i mentioned.
the picture that tore my heart apart.
AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!
when will i ever throw all these feelings away!!
i want to remove everything that i have engrave in my heart.
4 months of tlc, what is so hard to forget.
get out of my fucking mind.

i need some one whom i can trust
i need some one whom i can relate to
a friend who knows me inside out.
shout it out loud and tell my friend im feeling terrible inside.
its been some time some one hears my woes
its been awhile i let go




just give me a few days
i guess i can make it on my own

SO WHAT"S UP MAN!
when is the bloody results going to be release?
fuck the education system lah
its always us, the 1989 batch that have to be their guinea pigs
"HELLO WE ARE NOT UR EXPERIMENTAL OBJECTS OK!!"
be it the hmt or streaming or the choosing of schools
WTH!
we are always the ones that suffer the bad ones and of course miss the good ones!
wad bloody DSA!
damnn it.
if i know that this system would surface
i die die oso continue with band!
SO NOW WAD'S UP!
10, 6, or the 13 of feb!!!

so many speculations none of them cfm!
who the hell spread all these STUPID dates huh!!??
GIVE ME JUST ONE FUCKING DATE AND I'LL GET MY ASS TO SCHOOL LAH!

o2jam server is not helping me either
here i am feeling frustrated and pissed
anxious over the results
and the STUPID GAME JUST WOULD NOT CONNECT TO SERVER!
FUCK!
i just want to relax ok!
damn it!
i really hate the computer sometimes!



blood boiled!

once again its a sleepless nite
all cause of a pic that i saw when i was surfing ard doing nth.
its not about whether i have forgotten everything
or whether i have let everything go.
the point is i still cannot forget wad i had done in the past
and am i the only one that feels so much.

am i wrong to feel this way

i finally got everything done today.
procrastinating since payday.
got it done once and for all.

arhh
i kinda regret not studying.
i feel rusty..
haven touch maths for a long time.
i feel lyk doing my tys..
hmm~

how i wish i can go shopping with dear everyday!
spend quite a bit ytd at nwo.
both of us are now official members of nwo!! =p

im glad i have a great soul mate
im contented that i have a pair of arms to fall on when im down
im lucky to haf sumone i can scream and shout at.
baby i love u x)

been going to fren's place this couple of days.
ytd was evon's and wl hse.
lols
we gambled quite a bit.
jk got triple 7 ok!
the first time i encounted that.
but the happiest thing was that i finally get to see dear after 3 days! =)

went zhaoliang's place today
i was late, melinda sori..
and that ger is down with a flu and yet she wants to play bb.
"HELLO U WANT TO GET A VIRUS ATTTACK ISIT!"
she was really feeling so terrible that she visited the clinic.
hope that she's fine by now.

i not stupid too is good.
it serves as a wake up call for the educators and the parents.



so what's the plan tml? =P