i love you hubby.
thanks for cleaning up my shit ytd =)
deeply touched by ur actions.


its 13 months with u
and it felt like it has been forever.
seriously everyday is a replica and there's really nth SPEACIAL.
how much we neglect our 1 year!
1 year, u know.


i want to sleep in ur arms,
i want to wear ur oversized shirt again.
i want to whip up a meal that sucks but still I DUN CARE.
i want to do MLG assignments with you cause i cannot do it alone.
I WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU SO THAT EACH TIME I WAKE UP, I SEE U.

when i say bu, i mean it.
i hate to feel what im feeling and i swear u wun like it.
but WHY ARE U THE ONE THAT I LOVE?

im feeling really distracted, and not focus.
i have to get back on track.

i really don't want to retain.
God, AM I REALLY NOT CUT TO BE STUDY?
pls father in heaven enpower me with ur wisdom, and mercy.
i really want to rise and to be good at sth.
promos is coming, what will be the outcome



i'll do my part, and let father do the rest.

i love my husband,
my future husband to be =)
i love him and only him.

yeap we will have kids.
char coal , and the other names we thought of.
i really want to live with him the rest of my life.


i love laogong, i love hubby.

u call this BLISS AND PLAIN HAPPINESS.

im amused, amazed?
by how people can WITHSTAND PAIN.
and i mean pain as in,, really great in magnitude kind of pain!!


i love today =)
though im suppose to be working on the pw
but its a HARD TO COME BY holiday, i can't expect them to miss out on their fair bit of fun.
so pw resume today =)) and interviews must be done by this week.
im so gonna PUSH all of my manpower to the MAX.

and i've got a little surprise from mummy today
auntie flor is coming back!!!
double yayness, double happiness.


cooking,
showers,
mugging.
i love u so much hubby.

sometimes life can be so competitive
i just hope that time would turn till i reach 20 and rdy to start a carreer of my own.

i wanna see jesus lifted high,
a banner that flies across this land.
jesus when will i get to see him?
THE GREAT I AM,
he lays down my journey,
and i take my own route,
how i play the game of life?
how will it turn out to be?


terri's great =)
i love dancing..
i wanna learn hip hop dancing =((

im back my beloved dairy =)


i ve made the decision to stay till mid course b4 i decide to go for my engineering course.
this is my journey, and i gonna pave my own road.
no one is gonna tell mi to turn left, or right or "GOOS TAN"
except him above, yes except my precious lord, our precious lord.
i love school, i love my combination.
i love my friends, the NOODLES, and terri,
i love my family,
and i love my god.

im stumped when mum said that my faith was not strong
and how right is she.
is not that im not a believer,
but is just that i never gave my problems to him.
i did not lose my faith,
i lose my confidence.

today's oral was a breeze? or a DEVIL in diguisse?
i dunno, i've done my best and let god do the rest.


for he so love the world that he send his only begotten son .

its seems like as times brush past against u,
the feeling that u had instill in u will be gone just like the wind

okay its seems like there will be a differtiation test next tues
wadever for, i don't know.
right now im trying to get organic chem drilled right inside my skull.
hey, u know i have been like nagging about how much i hated chemistry,
HEY ITS MY LIFE SAVER OK.
maybe i 've a thing or two for it? or its just pure luck.

i make sure that i get my differentiation technics and formulas back into my brain by tml,
i guess its like searching for a lost document in ur computer.
"searchingg.."
hey it will take just as fast as how the computer retrieves back its information.
=))
tee hee hee


well i miss him though,
oh,, bother.


today =)

bullshits halt right here and am ready to suck oragnic.

I cannot be continue being NONCHALANT anymore.
I cannot continue to be oblivious about these feelings anymore.

DUN QUESTION HOW I FARE,
i can face my failures and brave them.
but wad i cannot take is...
is sth that has been going on ever since last year.
i studied from day 1 i entered ijc.
show me any qns and i can identify if it appears in the tutorials b4,
show me qns from the tutorials i can give u the ans.
im not saying im a genius, im not saying im one that can understand all the topics if it is written backwards.
but what i meat was that i put in my effort,
not putting on a show for anyone,
but doing it all for myself, to secure that one seat in NUS.
to provide a safety net for my ricebowl in future.
but GOD, can u pls ans me why is this happening.
even if im not to ace or soar,
why? why??
now with the fact that someone is in fucking top 12 throughout the whole cohort,
how am i feeling??
i can't act as if nth is happening.
anyone will think its just a small matter,
but picture urself in my shoes...
events from last year until now,
how am i taking it huh? how can i take it huh?

"dun tell me what to do,
dun tell me what to feel.
DUN FUCKING TELL ME TO FEEL ASSURED
when u jolly well know how i will fare.
i believe once during prelims and i fall hard
i believe again during o lvls and i fall as well.
NOW I BELIEVE, and what happens?
FOR GOODNESS SAKE NOT EVERYONE IS LIKE U
why do u always take it as if NTH is wrong?
OF COURSE NTH IS FUCKING WRONG WITH U.
U DUN FEEL IT!!
so stop saying im feeling too stress and that i need a breather,
IM NOT U!
dun worry i know im dumb, BUT I WILL BEAT U.
u watch it...
DUN JUDGE ME."


melinda knows me best.
its not the pride, its the feeling inside,
but i can't go on being in the same lecture,
taking the same test as him anymore.
its a mistake we choose the same institutes.
since i know he will choose IJC,
i should have just went for another choice.

im gathering information on the pros and cons of quitting school.
most prolly trying to find a course that gives me maths and physics.
i have my own expectations and dreams,
people have been telling me if im lousy then what bout them,
BUT I WANT TO EXCEL.
and im definitely not exceling.
i came here telling myself im gonna do well
not like the others that say "i cannot one lah"
but its not happening, its not good.
im no cut to be in this school.





pls lord, i really nid a sign, a signal
tell me what is the right choice.
pls...

right now,
at this point in time
i have a realy serious decision to make.

i need to think about nth but that..
numb..



gave mi the sign god

i blur liao loh..
one by one like that.
i really blur liao loh..
i thought u finally SAW light but yes,, i use SAW.
pls tell me sth that is worth that decision of yours.

ah gong passed away for a whole 49 days days alr.
and to think that i only knew it ytd.
was supposed to meet zl cause we were planning to go queensway
but i needed to be at ah gong's place.
i hope that tml's pool session is not screwed.
CAUSE I GOING TO ENJOY MY YOUTH DAY NO MATTER WHAT.
and it will be back to those days where we have lecture, tutorials
AND I GONNA STUDY REALLY HARD.
prove my worth,
show my existence.
trust in the lord,
and ACE the papers.

praying really hard for my summer test,,
ALL PASS ALL PASS,
no retain no retain!!

my friend =), u know who u are,
cheerioss!!
this episode tells u how much this friendship means to him.
well look at it this side,
at least we get to find out the real him?
no worries, i will always be her and ur soulmate.


no used getting perturbed
haha im immune,
i know whose the culprit and i can't be bothered
all the followers being led by the u noe who
just like wad i told myfriend,
one day, just one day everyone will not be able to take those nonsense
and just dump that u now who aside.


marina bay again with amkss people,
this time with 4/3 people.
ahh it make mi realise i miss samuel.
i still rmb those time when we tok, and played and crap.
not forgetting butterfly effect and COUNTER STRIKE at douby guat!!
and oso tg and gh who made mi miss the class chalet.
though i was not in the mood (chiaweiliang u know why)
i miss them alot.


why are things not the same ; why do i have different feelings
why do i yearn for something ; something i do not see everyday?

is everything alrite?