3rd nov

its been one year from the day we started.
just lyk the wink of the eye
ONE YEAR.
i haf to live with this scare engraved upon my broken heart
we are reali not meant.
i let go of those memories
dat has been tormenting my heart
miss those days when we are together
teasing him was reali fun
especialli when he gave the *HUH look
i realli miss him alott.
but wad gone has been gone
it hurts me so much
but i m dumb .
he is happilyy being ard ppl dat adores him
n i...
the one dat rmb diss day..

when can the pain go awayy?
stop torturing mee
i m so hurtt
my eyEs are lyk water tapp flowing all the tymm
mummy sayy it is not worthh it..
surprisee was i.
she din mind at all.
she ask me not to *dan lian
i haf to maintain a woman dignity.
i lurvee my mummy so so much!
still she discouragee
but wad can she doo?
its an open societyy
i haf the freedom to feel how i wanna feel.

my heart feels lyk it weigh a ton
i dUnno wad to do
doIng tings dat are bad for my health
ain't helping me anymore.
i feel breathless.
gasping for airr
everyting in lyfe seem lifeless
deadd
n still...

was havinn a good chat wif mama again today
she mentioned dat my results is reali badd
worse cum to worsee
i should just switch to private study
where i can maybe concentrate better
or forget the person i m suppose to...
i got mama de supportt.
i will look aheadd..

oh yahh..
silli silli mee.
wad are frens for?
can sumone tell me the answer?
THEY ARE CREATURES WHO FIND U WHEN THEY NEED HELP?
haha.
sometimes lying to me wun do any good
its lyk if u dun wanna share
jus say "dun ask k... my secrett."
at least it is better den lying to me saying:
*No onE knOws about this.
well well well.
wad can i say.
i m so naive to tink dat tings change for the better.
well...
just to naivee
apparently
i m the one dat is in the dark
but i dun mindd..
jus hate ppl hu lie to me..
i wun probe le.
Problems can be solved as it takes 2 hands to clapp
i m very prepared to gif it all to u
tings jus cannot improve with doubts
i guess friendship is so brittle dat once its broken
it has a cracked.

brokenn


brokenn heartt...